VIRUS AND SLUMDAWG ON HIPHOP CULTURE HBR #KesiBaadaye

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Here’s How You Can Sniff Out a Ratty Ways of a HoodRat And Avoid Getting Played

Bad Boys are to Good Girls what Hood­Rats are to Nice Guys! It seems nice guys do fin­ish last…es­pecial­ly when they choose to date women who are Hood­Rats. I know many kind, hard-working, attrac­tive men who are caught-up in a re­lationship with a straight Rat.
In an ef­fort to ex­pose non­sen­se and ridiculous­ness in the Dat­ing Game, I’m going to re­ve­al the traits of the Hood Rat. Fel­las take note!
If you’ve dated a Rat, you’ll know what I’m talk­ing about. And, if you just want to know the Hood Rat Game so that you can spot the Hood Rat Game…read on!
Peep Game: This female is bad news walk­ing but for some rea­son she’s able to pull de­cent guys on the re­gular. It seems these nice guys are un­able to spot her Ratty Ways, even when she puts them in their faces Date One. I guess it’s the nice guy way…to look past the ob­vi­ous to find some­th­ing good and re­deem­ing in every­one.
The Hood Rat’s Men­tal­ity is, “I Gotta Have It!” “It” may re­present money, a man, a baby…the pos­sibilit­ies are end­less.
She could care less if she’s tak­ing money she knows a man can’t af­ford be­cause of a lie she’s told (i.e. Claim­ing to be pre­gnant so that you can give her money for an ab­or­tion). She could care less if the man she wants is an­oth­er woman’s hus­band. She could care less if the baby she just has to have is made with a man who in­s­ists he’s not ready to have childr­en. The Hood Rat could give a rat’s a$$ about you or your feel­ings. “I gotta get mine,” she’ll say be­fore wav­ing her hand and sas­hay­ing away.
This chick is the type who can’t find her own man but in­stead spends all her time teas­ing and flirt­ing with yours (lad­ies). The Hood Rat, who often needs a place to stay, will jump right into your man’s face as soon as you leave the house and then claim he came after her. While the Rat told you how your man gaw­ked at her while she loun­ged on the couch, she neg­lected to men­tion that she was in a bra and thong pant­ies while she was doing that.
The Hood Rat is look­ing for a sucka…for the night, for the weekend, for the week. She’s not in­teres­ted in a long-term re­lationship so don’t get your hopes up Sucka when she claims “You’re the one!” She’s plott­ing on your a$$! The trap is set. She’s just wait­ing for you to take the bait.
She looks for weak­nesses in your charact­er, then ex­ploits them to the ut­most. All you “Save-A-Puppy”, “Cap­tain Save-A-H#e” type brot­has bet­t­er wake-up! This isn’t the type of chick you want in your fu­ture and she should be avoided at all costs un­less you’re ready to add some­one (name­ly her) to your steady payroll (i.e child sup­port).
The Rat is look­ing in­ces­sant­ly for a come-up! When she asks if you have a girl, she’s rea­l­ly as­k­ing, “Are you that some­body?”
I don’t choose to quote you a bunch of stereotypes, but I will give you guys some signs to look for when you brot­has are out here pro­wl­ing for new pu$$y. Some of these may seem ob­vi­ous but if they were rea­l­ly that ob­vi­ous, the Hood Rat’s op­era­tion would­n’t be as suc­cess­ful as it is. Just ask Kat Stacks! Check it:

• She’s loud! She wants the whole world to see her so she br­ings at­ten­tion to her­self by talk­ing loud in pub­lic places. “DAMN, I’M HUNG­RY!!!” (Ha! Made you look!)
• She walks with an ex­ces­sive and un­neces­sa­ry switch. Again, the Rat wants to draw at­ten­tion and the eas­iest way to do that is with a dynamic, hard-to-miss sas­hay.
• She con­stant­ly an­noun­ces that some dude is sweat­ing her or call­ing her. “Dang! Treyvon just won’t leave me alone! Why he sweat­ing me?” She may seem to be a girl in high de­mand but it’s more often her “Super­head Game” dudes are call­ing for than an­yth­ing else. Did she tell you that? Pro­bab­ly not!
• She has 3 or more baby dadd­ies and while all of them are de­cent fath­ers, they want NOTH­ING to do with her. In fact, they won’t put a dime in her hand, pre­ferr­ing to drive a co­unt­ry mile to drop of a loaf of bread after work than hand her a $5.00 bill when she shows up at the job claim­ing the kids are hung­ry. The Rat can’t be trus­ted with a wad of cash es­pecial­ly if it’s time to re-up her hair/nail Game.
• Her kids look like they’ve been through a wind storm but the Rat is dres­sed to the 9′s. While she sports the latest fash­ions, the kids are in clot­hes that are too small and shoes that are too big.
• Her house is nasty. While dirty clot­hes line the floor and food lines the co­unt­er tops, the Rat is busy curl­ing her hair for that evening’s club ac­tivit­ies. That’d be fine if she had a maid, but you know she doesn’t.
• She’s known you all of 2 minutes but she’s al­ready sen­d­ing you nude photos and sexy texts.
• Her baby dadd­ies are re­lated or are friends. She doesn’t see a pro­blem with that! After all she says, “They came after me!”
• She’s been to court more than once claim­ing that a guy is the fath­er of her child. When that guy is eliminated, she quick­ly pro­duces the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th pos­sibilit­ies. That would be ex­cus­able IF the Rat hadn’t cried to the judge about being 100% sure guy #1 was the fath­er. She swore she slept with no one else! I guess she tem­porari­ly for­got about the other 3.
• On that same note, the Hood Rat doesn’t name the most li­ke­ly fath­er in a patern­ity suit, she names the guy with the most to offer. Even though she knows the truth, she’s sur­prised when the test re­sults don’t sup­port her in­iti­al claims.
• Her friends are Hood Rats. Birds of a feath­er flock togeth­er! Don’t sleep on the Ratty Ways of her friends. When you’re not around, that’s ex­act­ly what your girl is doing.
• She stunts on the d#ck Day One! She’s twerk­ing and work­ing your Johnson like you’ve never seen. You’ve been around the block a few times and she’s show­ing you a thing or 2. The Rat has lit­tle or no con­ver­sa­tion so she de­pends on her sexu­al tech­nique to Catch and Keep men.
• She doesn’t take re­spon­sibil­ity for an­yth­ing. Her kids were taken away be­cause her Baby Daddy is mad she won’t get back with him. Her momma put her out of the house be­cause of her new man. She got fired from the last job be­cause a cus­tom­er who is jeal­ous of her, lied on her to the super­visor.
• She tells you NOT to wear a con­dom. While most real women want to pro­tect their as­sets, the Hood Rat wants you raw…au naturale. While you’re bask­ing in her love juice, she pas­ses on the gifts that keep on giv­ing or suc­k­ers you into 18-21 years of fin­an­ci­al slave­ry. Her­pes or Child sup­port. You choose!

Bot­tom Line!
{If you en­joyed this post, share it with your fami­ly and friends. Send this post to your Twitt­er or Facebook using the but­tons below!}
Until next time…Don’t hate the Play­er, Learn the Game!

WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY!!!

                           Our Phones ~ Wireless
                           Cooking ~ Fireless
                           Cars ~ Keyless
                           Food ~ Fatless
                           Dress ~ Sleeveless
                           Youth ~ Jobless
                           Leaders ~ Clueless
                           Relationships ~ Meaningless
                          Atitude ~ Careless
                          Wives ~ Fearless
                          Husbands ~ Shameless
                          Babies ~ Fatherless
                          Feelings ~ Heartless
                          Education ~ Valueless
                          Children ~ Mannerless
                          Women ~ Pantiless
                          Everything is becoming LESS!
                          Infact I am ~ Speechless. Lol

CRAZY THINGS I HAVE DONE IN MYPAST RELATIONSHIPS

In a movie, the crazy thing always works out. The grand gesture gets you the grand love. The love interest reads your grand gesture as ballsy, full of confidence, and knowing what you want. In real life, it can just make you look a little nuts and a little desperate. And maybe even a little irresponsible if that grand gesture cost you a pricey plane ticket or a game of hookey from work.


I would know, because I have done a few crazy things for love. And, well, I'm still single. What have I done?


Karaoke:


What better ways to show someone you want the whole world to know that you love them than by letting the whole bar know? It's a start, right? I signed up to sing at a karaoke bar in my local singing Minnie Riper ton’s “Loving you” jam where I was out with a group of friends, unsuspecting love interest included, with the intention of making it very clear that I was singing to just one person. I don't think all of the singing lessons or voice training in the world could have minimized my horror after putting on that performance and jumping off the stage to be greeted by these words from my love interest: "that was...um...sweet of you."


Gone the distance:


I was once dating someone who ended up moving about a 7-hour drive away. I decided to surprise her by taking off work for a week and driving up there without giving her any advance notice. She was, of course, thrilled to see me on her doorstep. And she was thrilled for the next two days (it was the weekend) to be with me. But, once the work week began, I was just some guy hanging out at her house waiting for her to come home, and stressing her out because she knew I was there waiting for her to come home. Not to mention, we had never lived together in the past. And suddenly, we were thrown into a pseudo living together situation, and found out that we needed our own space very quickly. In the end, the grand gesture didn't make us grow closer. It was the beginning of our relationship's demise.


Written a love letter:

There was a time when these were in fashion. But that was a very, very long time ago. I should have realized that before I tried to translate my feelings into a sonnet, with some far-fetched metaphors and some major hyperbole about just how much the person meant to me. The reader basically gulped in discomfort because, well, it's a little difficult to respond in regular English after you've just been written to in actual Old English.


Handwritten personal ads: Quaint, or...?


Really, is it necessary to spend good money on personal ads? I will tell you no. On 2007, I posted elaborately specific — and handwritten — personal ads in facebook. 

I was young and living with my sister at the time — described myself with great precision in the ads: single, a “sorter/bagger” for a package delivery company, Rangers and Jets fan, and a person who loves movies, nightclubs, Migingo Island, Nairobi city and the color red. 

I was equally precise about what I was seeking: a blonde, long-haired, "big-chested, curvy, leggy, and voluptuous (NOT FAT)" woman — or women — between the ages of 17 to 20 would be "willing to take turns paying on dates (NO GOLDDIGGERS!!!!!)."


Becoming Her Chauffeur
Men like to be seen as useful, and one way we curry favor with the one we like is by offering her rides. It starts small, like going to pick her up when she’s having dinner at our place — we’ll cross downtown just to get her. This is soon followed by trips to Naivasha, because she needs 200 tea lights. Finally, when she has to leave town to visit her parents, we come up with a reason why we’re headed in the same direction, just so we can spend a few hours in a car with her.


Crashing Her Time with the girls

Men think that the way to a woman’s heart is through feigning an interest in her hobbies. She says she loves going to hang with her girls and we say we’ve always wanted to try joining you. The next thing we know, we’re in short shorts trying to contort our body into positions that God never intended for us to achieve.


Got into a fight

it all goes back to the chest-thumping. When we’re trying to catch the attention of a girl, we can never come off as a wimp. Keep in mind: That doesn’t mean we pick a fight with the first guy we see. It means that if there’s a group of rowdy teenagers sitting in front of us at the movies, it’s up to the man to smack one in the back of the head and tell them to shut their mouths. Of course, this means we’ll likely get jumped in the parking lot and beaten with bicycle chains, but we crossed that bridge when we get there.


Relocated My Entire Life

nothing is worse than when we meet a girl we like — a girl we could have something with — only to find out she’s leaving town in four weeks. Some men cut their losses right there, while the brave ones make travel plans. We forsake our careers to pick up and follow that woman. Why? Because love is the greatest pension plan of all. And that’s how I ended up in Kenya from Houston Texas


Hanging Out with Her Ex

As much as I hate it every man has dated a girl that has somehow managed to stay friends with her ex. At first she calls him her friend: "I was talking to my friend, Dan, and blah, blah, blah." But something about her tone of voice tells us that farmer Dan once tilled the field we're now working to sow, Soon enough, we'll meet Dan, and every man in this situation has a decision to make: Do we blow him off or act like we're happy to see his smug face? Smart men treat Dan like a buddy. They pretend they're not at all threatened or jealous over her shared past with Dan because you know who used to be jealous about that kind of thing? Dan. As for me I won’t tell you what I did about this situation.



I a nutshell the things we do for love, right?! When you’re truly crazy about someone, you may not even believe the lengths you will go to catch or keep him or her in your life. Whether it’s standing outside of your GF/BF’s house with a boom box playing “In Your Eyes” Say Anything-style or confessing your years-long crush on the most popular girl at your high school graduation a la I Love You, Pearl, some declarations of love are sweet while some border the stalker line. With the following confessions from myself, I ranked each act of love starting with the not-so-intense Risky Romancing and ending with Deranged Devotion.


And truth is Getting into a relationship may seem tempting to you, but so was getting on the Titanic and look what happened there.

TRUTH ABOUT FAILURE

Failure doesn't mean you are a failure...
--- it does mean you haven't succeeded yet.

Failure doesn't mean you have accomplished nothing...
--- it does mean you have learned something.

Failure doesn't mean you have been a fool...
--- it does mean you had a lot of faith.

Failure doesn't mean you have been disgraced...
--- it does mean you were willing to try.

Failure doesn't mean you don't have it...
--- it does mean you have to do something in a different way.

Failure doesn't mean you are inferior...
--- it does mean you are not perfect.

Failure doesn't mean you've wasted your life...
--- it does mean you've got a reason to start afresh.

Failure doesn't mean you should give up...
--- it does mean you should try harder.
Failure doesn't mean you'll never make it...
--- it does mean it will take a little longer.

Is There a God?

I have been asked this question alot of times but all I could answer was basically related to the Bible which I do believe has truth about God.. Okay Today I came across a piece of work by  Marilyn Adamson and truth be told she did shed some light on the question. So I decided to share what she say..

Just once wouldn't you love for someone to simply show you the evidence for God's existence? No arm-twisting. No statements of, "You just have to believe." Well, here is an attempt to candidly offer some of the reasons which suggest that God exists.
But first consider this. When it comes to the possibility of God's existence, the Bible says that there are people who have seen sufficient evidence, but they have suppressed the truth about God.¹ On the other hand, for those who want to know God if he is there, he says, "You will seek me and find me; when you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you."² Before you look at the facts surrounding God's existence, ask yourself, If God does exist, would I want to know him? Here then, are some reasons to consider...

1. Does God exist? The complexity of our planet points to a deliberate Designer who not only created our universe, but sustains it today.

Many examples showing God's design could be given, possibly with no end. But here are a few:
The Earth...its size is perfect. The Earth's size and corresponding gravity holds a thin layer of mostly nitrogen and oxygen gases, only extending about 50 miles above the Earth's surface. If Earth were smaller, an atmosphere would be impossible, like the planet Mercury. If Earth were larger, its atmosphere would contain free hydrogen, like Jupiter.³ Earth is the only known planet equipped with an atmosphere of the right mixture of gases to sustain plant, animal and human life.
The Earth is located the right distance from the sun. Consider the temperature swings we encounter, roughly -30 degrees to +120 degrees. If the Earth were any further away from the sun, we would all freeze. Any closer and we would burn up. Even a fractional variance in the Earth's position to the sun would make life on Earth impossible. The Earth remains this perfect distance from the sun while it rotates around the sun at a speed of nearly 67,000 mph. It is also rotating on its axis, allowing the entire surface of the Earth to be properly warmed and cooled every day.
And our moon is the perfect size and distance from the Earth for its gravitational pull. The moon creates important ocean tides and movement so ocean waters do not stagnate, and yet our massive oceans are restrained from spilling over across the continents.⁴
Water...colorless, odorless and without taste, and yet no living thing can survive without it. Plants, animals and human beings consist mostly of water (about two-thirds of the human body is water). You'll see why the characteristics of water are uniquely suited to life:
It has an unusually high boiling point and freezing point. Water allows us to live in an environment of fluctuating temperature changes, while keeping our bodies a steady 98.6 degrees.
Water is a universal solvent. This property of water means that various chemicals, minerals and nutrients can be carried throughout our bodies and into the smallest blood vessels.⁵
Water is also chemically neutral. Without affecting the makeup of the substances it carries, water enables food, medicines and minerals to be absorbed and used by the body.
Water has a unique surface tension. Water in plants can therefore flow upward against gravity, bringing life-giving water and nutrients to the top of even the tallest trees.
Water freezes from the top down and floats, so fish can live in the winter.
Ninety-seven percent of the Earth's water is in the oceans. But on our Earth, there is a system designed which removes salt from the water and then distributes that water throughout the globe. Evaporation takes the ocean waters, leaving the salt, and forms clouds which are easily moved by the wind to disperse water over the land, for vegetation, animals and people. It is a system of purification and supply that sustains life on this planet, a system of recycled and reused water.⁶
The human brain...simultaneously processes an amazing amount of information. Your brain takes in all the colors and objects you see, the temperature around you, the pressure of your feet against the floor, the sounds around you, the dryness of your mouth, even the texture of your keyboard. Your brain holds and processes all your emotions, thoughts and memories. At the same time your brain keeps track of the ongoing functions of your body like your breathing pattern, eyelid movement, hunger and movement of the muscles in your hands.
The human brain processes more than a million messages a second.⁷ Your brain weighs the importance of all this data, filtering out the relatively unimportant. This screening function is what allows you to focus and operate effectively in your world. The brain functions differently than other organs. There is an intelligence to it, the ability to reason, to produce feelings, to dream and plan, to take action, and relate to other people.
The eye...can distinguish among seven million colors. It has automatic focusing and handles an astounding 1.5 million messages -- simultaneously.⁸ Evolution focuses on mutations and changes from and within existing organisms. Yet evolution alone does not fully explain the initial source of the eye or the brain -- the start of living organisms from nonliving matter.

2. Does God exist? The universe had a start - what caused it?

Scientists are convinced that our universe began with one enormous explosion of energy and light, which we now call the Big Bang. This was the singular start to everything that exists: the beginning of the universe, the start of space, and even the initial start of time itself.
Astrophysicist Robert Jastrow, a self-described agnostic, stated, "The seed of everything that has happened in the Universe was planted in that first instant; every star, every planet and every living creature in the Universe came into being as a result of events that were set in motion in the moment of the cosmic explosion...The Universe flashed into being, and we cannot find out what caused that to happen."⁹
Steven Weinberg, a Nobel laureate in Physics, said at the moment of this explosion, "the universe was about a hundred thousands million degrees Centigrade...and the universe was filled with light."¹⁰
The universe has not always existed. It had a start...what caused that? Scientists have no explanation for the sudden explosion of light and matter.

3. Does God exist? The universe operates by uniform laws of nature. Why does it?

Much of life may seem uncertain, but look at what we can count on day after day: gravity remains consistent, a hot cup of coffee left on a counter will get cold, the earth rotates in the same 24 hours, and the speed of light doesn't change -- on earth or in galaxies far from us.
How is it that we can identify laws of nature that never change? Why is the universe so orderly, so reliable?
"The greatest scientists have been struck by how strange this is. There is no logical necessity for a universe that obeys rules, let alone one that abides by the rules of mathematics. This astonishment springs from the recognition that the universe doesn't have to behave this way. It is easy to imagine a universe in which conditions change unpredictably from instant to instant, or even a universe in which things pop in and out of existence."¹¹
Richard Feynman, a Nobel Prize winner for quantum electrodynamics, said, "Why nature is mathematical is a mystery...The fact that there are rules at all is a kind of miracle."¹²

4. Does God exist? The DNA code informs, programs a cell's behavior.

All instruction, all teaching, all training comes with intent. Someone who writes an instruction manual does so with purpose. Did you know that in every cell of our bodies there exists a very detailed instruction code, much like a miniature computer program? As you may know, a computer program is made up of ones and zeros, like this: 110010101011000. The way they are arranged tell the computer program what to do. The DNA code in each of our cells is very similar. It's made up of four chemicals that scientists abbreviate as A, T, G, and C. These are arranged in the human cell like this: CGTGTGACTCGCTCCTGAT and so on. There are three billion of these letters in every human cell!!
Well, just like you can program your phone to beep for specific reasons, DNA instructs the cell. DNA is a three-billion-lettered program telling the cell to act in a certain way. It is a full instruction manual.¹³
Why is this so amazing? One has to ask....how did this information program wind up in each human cell? These are not just chemicals. These are chemicals that instruct, that code in a very detailed way exactly how the person's body should develop.
Natural, biological causes are completely lacking as an explanation when programmed information is involved. You cannot find instruction, precise information like this, without someone intentionally constructing it.

5. Does God exist? We know God exists because he pursues us. He is constantly initiating and seeking for us to come to him.

I was an atheist at one time. And like many atheists, the issue of people believing in God bothered me greatly. What is it about atheists that we would spend so much time, attention, and energy refuting something that we don't believe even exists?! What causes us to do that? When I was an atheist, I attributed my intentions as caring for those poor, delusional people...to help them realize their hope was completely ill-founded. To be honest, I also had another motive. As I challenged those who believed in God, I was deeply curious to see if they could convince me otherwise. Part of my quest was to become free from the question of God. If I could conclusively prove to believers that they were wrong, then the issue is off the table, and I would be free to go about my life.
I didn't realize that the reason the topic of God weighed so heavily on my mind, was because God was pressing the issue. I have come to find out that God wants to be known. He created us with the intention that we would know him. He has surrounded us with evidence of himself and he keeps the question of his existence squarely before us. It was as if I couldn't escape thinking about the possibility of God. In fact, the day I chose to acknowledge God's existence, my prayer began with, "Ok, you win..." It might be that the underlying reason atheists are bothered by people believing in God is because God is actively pursuing them.
I am not the only one who has experienced this. Malcolm Muggeridge, socialist and philosophical author, wrote, "I had a notion that somehow, besides questing, I was being pursued." C.S. Lewis said he remembered, "...night after night, feeling whenever my mind lifted even for a second from my work, the steady, unrelenting approach of Him whom I so earnestly desired not to meet. I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all of England."
Lewis went on to write a book titled, "Surprised by Joy" as a result of knowing God. I too had no expectations other than rightfully admitting God's existence. Yet over the following several months, I became amazed by his love for me.

6. Does God exist? Unlike any other revelation of God, Jesus Christ is the clearest, most specific picture of God revealing himself to us.

Why Jesus? Look throughout the major world religions and you'll find that Buddha, Muhammad, Confucius and Moses all identified themselves as teachers or prophets. None of them ever claimed to be equal to God. Surprisingly, Jesus did. That is what sets Jesus apart from all the others. He said God exists and you're looking at him. Though he talked about his Father in heaven, it was not from the position of separation, but of very close union, unique to all humankind. Jesus said that anyone who had seen Him had seen the Father, anyone who believed in him, believed in the Father.
He said, "I am the light of the world, he who follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."¹⁴ He claimed attributes belonging only to God: to be able to forgive people of their sin, free them from habits of sin, give people a more abundant life and give them eternal life in heaven. Unlike other teachers who focused people on their words, Jesus pointed people to himself. He did not say, "follow my words and you will find truth." He said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father but through me."¹⁵
What proof did Jesus give for claiming to be divine? He did what people can't do. Jesus performed miracles. He healed people...blind, crippled, deaf, even raised a couple of people from the dead. He had power over objects...created food out of thin air, enough to feed crowds of several thousand people. He performed miracles over nature...walked on top of a lake, commanding a raging storm to stop for some friends. People everywhere followed Jesus, because he constantly met their needs, doing the miraculous. He said if you do not want to believe what I'm telling you, you should at least believe in me based on the miracles you're seeing.¹⁶
Jesus Christ showed God to be gentle, loving, aware of our self-centeredness and shortcomings, yet deeply wanting a relationship with us. Jesus revealed that although God views us as sinners, worthy of his punishment, his love for us ruled and God came up with a different plan. God himself took on the form of man and accepted the punishment for our sin on our behalf. Sounds ludicrous? Perhaps, but many loving fathers would gladly trade places with their child in a cancer ward if they could. The Bible says that the reason we would love God is because he first loved us.
Jesus died in our place so we could be forgiven. Of all the religions known to humanity, only through Jesus will you see God reaching toward humanity, providing a way for us to have a relationship with him. Jesus proves a divine heart of love, meeting our needs, drawing us to himself. Because of Jesus' death and resurrection, he offers us a new life today. We can be forgiven, fully accepted by God and genuinely loved by God. He says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you."¹⁷ This is God, in action.
Does God exist? If you want to know, investigate Jesus Christ. We're told that "God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."¹⁸
God does not force us to believe in him, though he could. Instead, he has provided sufficient proof of his existence for us to willingly respond to him. The earth's perfect distance from the sun, the unique chemical properties of water, the human brain, DNA, the number of people who attest to knowing God, the gnawing in our hearts and minds to determine if God is there, the willingness for God to be known through Jesus Christ. If you need to know more about Jesus and reasons to believe in him, please see: Beyond Blind Faith.

If you want to begin a relationship with God now, you can.

This is your decision, no coercion here. But if you want to be forgiven by God and come into a relationship with him, you can do so right now by asking him to forgive you and come into your life. Jesus said, "Behold, I stand at the door [of your heart] and knock. He who hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into him [or her]."¹⁹ If you want to do this, but aren't sure how to put it into words, this may help: "Jesus, thank you for dying for my sins. You know my life and that I need to be forgiven. I ask you to forgive me right now and come into my life. I want to know you in a real way. Come into my life now. Thank you that you wanted a relationship with me. Amen."
God views your relationship with him as permanent. Referring to all those who believe in him, Jesus Christ said of us, "I know them, and they follow me; and I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish, and no one shall snatch them out of my hand."²⁰
So, does God exist? Looking at all these facts, one can conclude that a loving God does exist and can be known in an intimate, personal way

GOD ALWAYS ANSWERS PRAYER ......

When the idea is not right, God says "NO."
    "No" - when the idea is not the best.
    "No" - when the idea is absolutely wrong.
    "No" - when though it may help you, it could create problems for someone else.

When the time is not right, God says, "SLOW."
What a catastrophe it would be if God answered every prayer at the snap of your fingers?
Do you know what would happen?  God would become your servant, not your master.
Suddenly, God would be working for you instead of you working for God.

When you are not right, God says, "GROW."
    The selfish person has to grow in unselfishness.
    The cautious person must grow courage.
    The timid person must grow in confidence.
    The dominating person must grow in sensitivity.
    The critical person must grow in tolerance.
    The negative person must grow in positive attitude.
    The pleasure-seeking person must grow in compassion for suffering people.

When everything is all right, God says, "GO."
Then miracles happen:
    A hopeless alcoholic is set free.
    A drug addict finds release.
    A daughter becomes as a child in his belief.
    Diseased tissues respond to treatment and healing begins.
    The door to your dreams suddenly swings open and there stands God saying "GO."

REMEMBER:
God delays are not denials. God's timing is perfect. Patience is what we need in prayer.

MALE BEHAVIOR AND CHARACTERISTICS #2

This one is a continuation for my favorite work mate Pearl Njeri Kiarie's Topic so just Enjoy it too

   6 days ago I decided to help out my pal Pearl just to try and understand us male just how we do behave and carry on with our daily thinking and reactions.. So today i decided to continue with writing the continuation of the previous blog so that you would understand just how we do think.
  So pearl today I just want to continue by giving you a chance to understand men's behavior by some of the words we do use just to keep you up to date with what they really mean .
  You probably learned a whole new language in Internet lingo with terms like “cache” and “cookies” meaning something completely different than dollars and Mint Milanos. But hey, you’ve adapted…except for when it comes to communication with your man. There doesn’t seem to be an operations manual to help you deal with male behavior and that’s why you’ve created “Y-Speak” as your guide to decoding the thoughts, opinions, and communication style of our Y-chromosome partners. So when He uses this words in communicating with you. just know this is what he really means :-
LATER: usually meaning any time after now. When a guy says “later,” it could mean tonight, tomorrow, next week, or maybe even never. How does one set their clock to “later?” You can’t. Just don’t be waiting around thinking later will be any time soon.
THE IMPORTANCE OF SPORTS: Please remember that a game is not “just a stupid game.” Sports is a part of who men are except for this writer who has no interest in sports whatsoever. It is their culture much like beauty, shopping, and fashion are to you ladies. Guys were playing sports as soon as they could learn to walk and they did much of their maturing and interaction with one another on a sports field. It is where they learned teamwork, strategy, competition, and many other facets of life and sociology and that is why it remains important to them no matter how old they are.
MULTI-TASKING: when a man multi-tasks, that means he is reading on the toilet. Guys are extremely focused, simple, one-track mind individuals in that they cannot juggle a laundry list of things to do like we can. If you communicate one thought at a time to them, you will be much better off.
SILENCE/GRUNT: if you ask your guy a question and there is no response or just a caveman-like grunt, it doesn’t mean silent agreement or that he is intentionally ignoring you. As to the point above, if a guy is reading the paper, watching TV, or even figuring out what color socks to put on, that is where his brain is focused and while he may have heard your question somewhere off in the distance, it hasn’t yet registered with him so you’ll need to interrupt him to see if you can ask him a question. I know…seems redundant, but that’s how they function.
“WE HAVE TO TALK”: if you want to create sheer terror inside your man, just say “we have to talk.” Same thing happens to you ladies and Pearl am pretty sure you can testify and back me up on this. am pretty sure you know what I mean lol. Guys are sure they are about to hear complaints, corrections, and what horrible human beings they are — or worse, nagging about the “M” word. Guys don’t want to talk about the relationship and their feelings. They want to experience them. And for the most part, they feel if they are spending time with you it’s because they want to…and things will evolve naturally. There’s no need to have to “talk” about it.
CONFRONTATION: this belongs on the sports field, NOT in the bedroom, on the couch, or across the kitchen table or via a phone call or text message. Guys just don’t like confrontation — chalk it up to feeling as if they are being reprimanded by their mother. If a man feels like he is being accused of anything or he needs to answer about something, he will do whatever it takes to avoid confrontation. He will walk out of the room, not return phone calls, or simply just never see you again.
THE INQUISITION: Casually ask a guy what he did last night with his friends or who he was talking with on the phone and he will feel as if he is being interrogated. Guys just don’t want to talk about what they do when they are not with you — and that includes past relationships. If you feel like he is shutting down and being difficult, it’s because he just doesn’t want to talk about it. Granted, that kicks off alarm bells in women because we start wondering if he’s cheating, but don’t always be so suspicious…it’s just how they are wired.
FIDELITY: Women were created to be nurturers, men were created to be breeders. Men have a basic, ingrained instinct to want to have sex with everything that crosses their path. So why are men faithful? Because at some point in their lives they decide to trade-off the ability to sleep with anyone and everyone in order to gain companionship, love, and greater societal acceptance — but it doesn’t mean the urge isn’t still there.
VISUAL VS. VERBAL: Men get turned on by what they see (sexy women, sports cars, big power tools) while women get turned on more by what they experience through communication and interaction(Okay most definitely I read this in one of the books in the library). But That’s why a guy’s head is always going to turn when a beautiful woman or hot car passes by while a woman feels more excited by a man telling her how much he cares for her(This is just my explanation though).
NAGGING: Along the same lines, women are more verbal about what bothers them, what they want to change or correct in their mate, etc. Guys, for the most part, are more laid-back. They accept many more flaws in their partners than women do and aren’t prone to initiate talks to change behaviors or attitudes.
ON THE ROAD TO PANTYVILLE: a man wants to get laid pure and simple. There’s no romance or long-term commitment. He just wants to see whether you wear bikinis or thongs, and what you’ve got under them. And if you’ve been with a guy who is “On The Road to Pantyville,” it’s highly likely you won’t hear from him again — he’s already made it to his intended destination.
EXPENSIVE LINGERIE: Speaking of panties, remember that expensive, lacy, sexy lingerie is for you, not for him. Guys are happy with a split-second look at your Victoria’s Secret goodies, but in their minds, what’s underneath is more important and they simply want it OFF!
So Pearl Now you’ve got a much better idea of what goes on in the head of your man. and for a reason or so if you may want me to continue with writing about this halla and you will get more of it later.. Get it LATER..

Gone in 60 Seconds.

I had planned to surprise Kaspun on Friday. I wanted to take her out as a part of my plan to play backup to a Hero. Those plans got cancelled when she was around Alliance Franchise through at the last minute. So of course I ended up going out still convinced I would surprise her. I already had a plan in place, I didn't want to waste it. Just amusing that the night I planned to surprise she was most definitely with her pals.that just happened to be my pals' girl. Though am not good with names, I remember meeting up with them in 680 hotel where they had a function and it looked like they had a lot going on between them. As much as I didn't know what was happening, I noticed they had a thing or two.Anyway back to my situation.. Since Kaspun had told me where she was and I was already in a matatu heading to westlands' Skylux. I decided to go and meet her , i alighted the matatu and headed to where she was.. The first person I came to meet was her pal seated down. So i decided to say hi since i was looking for Jacque (another name for Kaspun). Anyway she reminded me her name which unfortunately I cant recall but she had glasses on and I believe she is best of friend with Kaspun. I wanted to ask where she was but I decided not to and just have my cool . Several catch ups I heard Kaspun's voice from the back and turned around and found her with some of her pals..
I decided not to disturb but just ignore since i didnt want to be a bother, I continued chatting with her and decided that it was fit if I just left and go on with my planned night out.. I decided to go to secret lounge and have two for the road as waited for a call from my boy Mitch so that we could go about with our rants at night .. To my surprise that's how I did miss Kaspun that night considering that just because of wrong negative decision of just in sixty seconds.. I was gone by the time those 60 seconds had elapsed but I do promise to make up for her anyways.. 
After all that my pal Mitch called and told me that he was already in westlands so i took my last beer and headed there.
We hit up this club I had been hearing about for years and had never made it to. Something about a club under the ground gives it an interesting appeal. Not the "upscale" type I usually do. I liked it. Nice to have a change of pace. On the way there I told him that his intuition had been right . I didn't go into details but I told him when, and how, and most importantly(at least to me) why I lied. As I expected, he completely understood. He said he'd always known and was pretty sure he knew why I lied about it. The conversation drifted off from there to the chain this had become: he and I, and CT and the other chick. It's amusing to us both; the entire chain of events is just plain amusing. 
 I had no doubt that it would have been a pleasant night if only Kaspun would have been it coz she's so much like myself extroverted in appearance but introverted at second glance. Most people just don't take that second glance at her. I'm glad I did.
To summarize my gone in 60 second , I haven't had a second chance to meet her but Kaspun since this is written for you , I request that you find that time and I will be gone in never.

MALE BEHAVIOR AND CHARACTERISTICS

This post is specifically for Pearl Njeri Kiarie.. The coolest workmate I have so far met at work............

My Pal Pearl Kiarie gets baffled when it comes to understanding male behavior. However, there are certain patterns of behavior that are nearly universal. There will always be exceptions to any rule, nevertheless, there are some characteristically male traits that are often misinterpreted or simply misunderstood by the fairer sex.So I have decided to look at some of my past traits and present to help her understand some of them.. So Njeri lets start with this 7 traits I have noted down.  
 1.      Men cannot be friends with women they find attractive.
Straight men find no appeal in being “friends” with a woman they find attractive. Their mind will remain trained on that attraction even if they don’t show it. So why do some men feign friendship? Some men are willing to “wait it out” until a woman breaks up with a boyfriend, gets hard up for sex or wears down by his appeals. In some instances it’s just a matter of opportunity. Should opportunity strike, he’ll make use of that opportunity.
 2.      Men are constantly thinking about sex
I don’t believe there is a man alive who can honestly dispute this one! Men are biologically programmed to procreate and physiologically stimulated to do so. It starts from puberty on into adulthood and never seems to diminish.  In cases where it does slow down, they have cleverly invented products specifically developed to reignite a man’s “mojo.” (e.g. Viagra™, Cialis™, etc.)
 3.      Men determine whether or not they’re interested in a woman rather quickly
Men aren’t prone to carrying around a checklist of requirements for what they find desirable in a woman. However, they are naturally adept at quickly assessing who they’d like to pursue. Unlike some women, men don’t tend to make up reasons why they should like someone or how they could grow to like someone. They simply like you or they don’t.
 4.      Men are running game if they make everything purposely complicated and “confusing”
He’s moody, inconsistent and defensive all the time. He blames his behavior on you and your lack of commitment to the relationship. He’s unpredictable and makes himself available when it is convenient for him and serially unavailable when it’s important to you. Let’s stop here and assess. Now apart from all the other qualities that men possess, one quality that rings true in almost all they do is simplicity. Men are nowhere near as complicated as this. Thus, despite this man’s endearing professions of love, quite frankly, if his words aren’t reflected in his actions he’s a player and you’re part of the game.
 5.      Men enjoy the thrill of the hunt
As much as men enjoy being pursued, they actually enjoy being the pursuer more. A man’s ability to win over a woman is a testament to his skills and his manliness. There’s no glory in a woman throwing herself at a man, even if he’d been interested otherwise. A subtle invitation, however, makes a man more confident in his approach, but still gives him the opportunity to lead the pursuit.
 6.      Men who are sincere are consistent
Men are generally creatures of habit, pretty straight forward and very communicative by way of their actions. Sometimes when inconsistencies arise women ignore signs and symptoms that something is amiss.  These are what I call “red flags.” A man who is consistent in how he treats you is being honest about who he is and how he conducts himself. There’s no mystery. However, a man who was consistent and now seems to have changed is not being honest – irrespective of his motives.
7.      Most men will never forget their first love, and some will never get over it
This is a topic that can evoke some of the most heartfelt emotions in a man. Some men remain haunted by a former heartbreak. Still others look at their first love with a genuine fondness.  Either way, these experiences can affect their future relationships with women. Men will generally fall into one of three particular categories. One group will continue to pursue loving, healthy relationships. While between the other two, he will either hold a torch or carry a chip into every subsequent relationship.
While I am truly thankful that all men are not alike, I must admit that there are some similarities that seem consistent among them. In my personal journey to having a better understanding of men, I have discovered that men rarely engage in random behavior, if at all. There is rhyme to their reason and it is deeply connected to the responses they elicit from women. A better understanding of these common characteristics can make communicating and interacting with men less like a game of chess, and more of a meaningful exchange.

So to my pal Pearl these are just but a few of the characteristics we do have lol.. So next time you hear these words. "We need to talk!!" , don't freak out and just flow with the story..

Relationships 101: How to Handle and Cope with Differences

In relationships - no matter what kind - the spice of life between people may oftentimes give a welcoming flavor, but too much spice can create tumult and spin any relationship into a state of chaos. Oftentimes, too many differences can prove to be quite unsettling and troubling. People may not always view eye to eye on many topics. There can exist differences of opinion on significant issues, or presenting new approaches to life may be disconcerting to those not able to understand fully.
When differences surface in a relationship, they can be perceived either positively or negatively. If you are finding that there is trouble in a relationship that you're in due to differences of personality or opinions, try turning the negative issues into more productive positive outcomes. Even a broth filled with too much spice can be watered down. Differences can be a valuable ingredient and essential part of learning. Turning the tide on differences by not allowing judgmental obstinancy to creep in, can also create positive and more fruitful experiences.
Communication is a necessity for the understanding and acceptance of differences in any relationship, enabling differences to come out as positive aspects within a relationship. It signifies an open exchange of ideas, and this can be possible only when all parties involved are willing to not only talk but to listen just as equally. In taking the time to listen attentively without quickly passing judgment and truly making the understanding effort towards another person's perspective, will result positively with people turning their differences into strengths within their relationships. Thereby, ending by bringing people much closer together in the process.
For those individuals having difficulty in opening the lines of communication, there are ways and methods to start the "positive pow-wow" going. Even something quite simple as reminding oneself to not interrupt whilst another person is talking can achieve wonders. If the waves are strained with the inability
for discussion, making a gentle attempt to start one can prove a way to show the willingness in wanting to work things out.
Here are some ways and/or guidelines to help a bruised relationship back on a positive track towards better understanding and communication:
Listen
In order for all parties in a relationship to feel at ease and comfortable, they must think and feel that they're being listened to. Taking the time to really hear what people have on their minds without judgments or interruptions is the most crucial start in mending the emotional hurts and bruises. It is the most significant part to do in order for a well-functioning relationship to unfold. This step may be harder than what it is seems, but in trying to salvage a relationship, listening is a necessary ingredient which can be mastered in the doing. Whatever happens, don't listen just to "pretend" you're listening to give off the impression or appearance that you're willing to respect the other person's views for them, when all you're thinking about is waiting for the opportunity to voice your own opinion. That is not listening. To seriously listen means to be willing to participate your energy with the person you're listening to.
Talk
Don't be scared to voice what is on your mind, even if you're uncertain on how other people will handle it. It is significant to get things out in the open than to allow your frustrations within yourself to fester. Make certain that tact is involved when communicating. A voicing of opinions which is focused will be readily more acceptable to a listening audience.
Respect
Don't only think of yourself. Give other people the same space and opportunity to express themselves in the same manner in which you'd like to have or be given. After all, it's all about an equal exchange of energies. When discussing with other people, don't always think you must win the argument because you feel you can out-reason the person you're discussing with. Once again, use tact without seeking to condescend or patronizing the other individual. Allow them their reasoning as well. You may surprisingly find that they are not as irrational or incompatible as they seemed initially. If you can't find yourself agreeing with the viewpoint of the other individual, then stress that you are willing to agree on the disagreements. A resolution for peace should be the outcome.
Overall

In any relationship, differences can prove to be problems, but with sincere efforts to work out the differences, resolutions can be obtained with healthy communication. There should not have to exist a burning of bridges.

ENJOY THIS POEM BY KARINA DEL CAMPO

Between our little fights and our giggles

Do you remember that you were the first lips I touched? 

The first hand I held, 

The first one I cared for, 

The only one I ever loved.

Do you remember you made me smile when I first saw you?

The first time I did I knew there was something there.

A spark between us that I felt only when I was with you.

Do you remember that you were the first to put your arms around my waist?

The first to lift me in the air.

You were my Romeo, I was your Juliet

Do you remember we weren't allowed to see each other?

But still we made it happen.

We weren't allowed to talk, but still, we managed.

Do you remember when we happened you held me so tight?

We didn't want to let go

Do you remember when I would look at you and just smile?

You gave thanks to God everyday since he put me in your life.

Do you remember when it was over?

We still cared for each other.

You told me you wished the best for me.

Do you remember that you were the first one I ever cried for?

Besides my daddy when he left me.

Do you remember we had something that nobody had?

Something people looked for, but didn't find.

You were the best I ever had. (:

You were my first love. 

If I had three wishes the first one would be,

To see that beautiful smile I love to see.

The second would be to be in your arms just one more time.

The third would be to have you back in my life,

To have you forever baby.

'Till this day you’re still in my heart. And I don't regret a thing

15 Things you should Give Up for Happier Life

Here is a list of 15 things, which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and you'll feel much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering and instead of letting them all go and allowing ourselves to be stress-free and happy, we cling on to them.

Well, not anymore. Starting today, we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go!


1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can't stand the idea of being wrong wanting to always be right even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain for us and for others. It's just not worth it. Whenever you feel the 'urgent' need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question from Dr. Wayne Dyer: 'Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?' What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?


2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, co-workers, or just strangers you meet on the street just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.
'By letting it go, it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.' Lao Tzu


3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don't have, for what you feel or don't feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don't believe everything that your mind is telling you especially if it's negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.
'The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.' Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
'A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind.' Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things people, situations and events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It's not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you're not just to make others like you. It doesn't work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you're not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change don't resist it.
'Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.' Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels. Stop labeling the things, people or events that you don't understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open.The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about.' Dr. Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn't exist you created it. It's all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
'The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.' Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses. . A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck and lie to ourselves, using all kind of excuses excuses that 99.9% of the time, are not even real.

13. Give up the past. I know, I know. This one's hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening. But, you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for the past that you are now dreaming about was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all, life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us, is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too (it still is), but it's not impossible. You get better and better at it with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things (and that doesn't mean you give up your love for them because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another. Attachment comes from a place of fear, while love well, real love is pure, kind, and selfless; where there is love there can't be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot co-exist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people's expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them; they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them; to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people's expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need and eventually, they forget about themselves. You have one life this one right now you must live it, own it, and especially don't let other people's opinions distract you from your path.

LOVE LETTER TO EX GIRLFRIEND MONISHA

 

8 Things Remarkably Successful People Do

I'm fortunate to know a number of remarkably successful people. I've described how these people share a set of specific perspectives and beliefs.

They also share a number of habits:

1. They don't create back-up plans.

Back-up plans can help you sleep easier at night. Back-up plans can also create an easy out when times get tough.

You'll work a lot harder and a lot longer if your primary plan simply has to work because there is no other option. Total commitment--without a safety net--will spur you to work harder than you ever imagined possible.

If somehow the worst does happen (and the "worst" is never as bad as you think) trust that you will find a way to rebound. As long as you keep working hard and keep learning from your mistakes, you always will.

2. They do the work...

You can be good with a little effort. You can be really good with a little more effort.

But you can't be great--at anything--unless you put in an incredible amount of focused effort.

Scratch the surface of any person with rare skills and you'll find a person who has put thousands of hours of effort into developing those skills.

There are no shortcuts. There are no overnight successes. Everyone has heard about the 10,000 hours principle but no one follows it... except remarkably successful people.

So start doing the work now. Time is wasting.

3.  ...and they work a lot more.

Forget the Sheryl Sandberg "I leave every day at 5:30" stories. I'm sure she does. But she's not you.

Every extremely successful entrepreneur I know (personally) works more hours than the average person--a lot more. They have long lists of things they want to get done. So they have to put in lots of time.

Better yet, they want to put in lots of time.

If you don't embrace a workload others would consider crazy then your goal doesn't mean that much to you--or it's not particularly difficult to achieve. Either way you won't be remarkably successful.

4. They avoid the crowds.

Conventional wisdom yields conventional results. Joining the crowd--no matter how trendy the crowd or "hot" the opportunity--is a recipe for mediocrity.

Remarkably successful people habitually do what other people won't do. They go where others won't go because there's a lot less competition and a much greater chance for success.

5. They start at the end...

Average success is often based on setting average goals.

Decide what you really want: to be the best, the fastest, the cheapest, the biggest, whatever. Aim for the ultimate. Decide where you want to end up. That is your goal.

Then you can work backwards and lay out every step along the way.

Never start small where goals are concerned. You'll make better decisions--and find it much easier to work a lot harder--when your ultimate goal is ultimate success.

6. ... and they don't stop there.

Achieving a goal--no matter how huge--isn't the finish line for highly successful people. Achieving one huge goal just creates a launching pad for achieving another huge goal.

Maybe you want to create a $100 million business; once you do you can leverage your contacts and influence to create a charitable foundation for a cause you believe in. Then your business and humanitarian success can create a platform for speaking, writing, and thought leadership. Then...

The process of becoming remarkably successful in one field will give you the skills and network to be remarkably successful in many other fields.

Remarkably successful people don't try to win just one race. They expect and plan to win a number of subsequent races.

7. They sell.

I once asked a number of business owners and CEOs to name the one skill they felt contributed the most to their success. Each said the ability to sell.

Keep in mind selling isn't manipulating, pressuring, or cajoling. Selling is explaining the logic and benefits of a decision or position. Selling is convincing other people to work with you. Selling is overcoming objections and roadblocks.

Selling is the foundation of business and personal success: knowing how to negotiate, to deal with "no," to maintain confidence and self-esteem in the face of rejection, to communicate effectively with a wide range of people, to build long-term relationships...

When you truly believe in your idea, or your company, or yourself then you don't need to have a huge ego or a huge personality. You don't need to "sell."

You just need to communicate.

8. They are never too proud.

To admit they made a mistake. To say they are sorry. To have big dreams. To admit they owe their success to others. To poke fun at themselves. To ask for help.

To fail.

And to try again

Dear Hot Straight Actresses,

Dear Hot Straight Actresses,

Stop playing perfect lesbian characters on TV that cause me to become wet on lonely Thursday nights.

It’s the equivalent of waving double chocolate fudge cake in front of a menstruating woman who has just been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.

To name a few,

Jennifer Beals as Bette Porter on The L Word.
Stop it!

Naya Rivera as the sassy Santana Lopez on Glee.
Stop it!

Angie Harmon as butch goddess Detective Jane Rizzoli on Rizzoli & Isles.
You may be in the closet but you are gay and stop!

And Sara Ramirez and Jessica Capshaw as the married lesbos Dr. Cali Torrez and Dr. Arizona Robbins of Grey’s Anatomy.
You…you keep going. You two give me hope.

Hope that someday my insanely high expectations will be met when my hot art collecting, sassy mouthed Doctor with handcuffs in her back pocket jumps from the screen and onto my sweatpants covered lap.
In this crazy assumption that I’ll end up falling out of an apple tree letting gravity push me into the arms of a woman who fixes my broken sense of reality with a amazing great hair and a wedding proposal.

Missing out on the

Hot barista who gives me an extra large when I ask for a small

or the

Budding sexy artist who invites me to her galleries only to realize her muse has oddly the same hips as me.

or the

Best friend who is still stuck in the shadows of my closet.

Nope…didn’t see any of those.
I’m too busy watching the boob tube to see what low cut tops they can get away with before they leave the set and back to their husband and 2.5 kids.

All I’m asking is…

…when is it coming out on DVD?

MODESTY 101

1. 1
   Check that you are using assertive communication appropriately. If you are new to assertiveness, or you're not feeling your usual self because of illness or stress, etc., you might be resorting to techniques that are more aggressive, passive aggressive, or making assumptions where there are none to be made, rather than being assertive. A quick check you can do is to think back through your comments and stance with the person in question and write down what you said. Read it back: Does it sound to you as if you were being assertive, or otherwise? Be Honest - it's about you!
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   Check the context. Sometimes factors come into the equation that shouldn't. Race, gender, married status, age, disabilities, illness, and so on can sometimes cause a person to assume that you have an "attitude", rather than an assertive style of communication. If you suspect that this is the situation, continue with your assertive communication and consider whether it is worth raising your concern that your status might be causing negative responses from the person accusing you of being arrogant, or whether this might even be something actionable in your workplace, school, etc. environment.
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   Be an Active Listener : Letting people know your boundaries and feelings while at the same time allowing them space to talk, discuss, and open up about their feelings is important. Assertiveness is about give and take; you take a little of their time to clarify your feelings and you give a lot of your time to hear about theirs. Remember that a good listener is also a flatterer and it's hard to find arrogance in that!
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   Be Humble and modest. Assertiveness and humility make a fine combination. An assertive person doesn't need to shout "Me, me, me, look what I did!" from the rooftops. Assertive people are remembered because they stand firm, their needs and interests are clear to others, and because they are reliable; they also frequently become a form of role model for others seeking to assert themselves effectively. Take this role to heart but don't boast, big note yourself or become pushy, no matter how clever, popular, or successful you might be.
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   Reflect over your communications with others and your purpose. While assertiveness is about ensuring that others respect you and what you want in life, it ceases to be assertive communication when you use assertiveness techniques to confuse or outwit someone where you're more knowledgeable, cashed up, or better off than another person. Assertive communication is not about "getting your own way". That's turning assertiveness into aggressive techniques of communication and that's when you'll be accused of being arrogant. Always think about the purpose of your communications - will it make you better understood, will it ensure that your needs are fully communicated, and will it still respect the other person's need to be clearly understood and well informed? For example, which of these examples do you prefer:
   
   
   • Hi, I'm "Arrogant". I bought this iPhone here last week. It's a lemon. It scrambles my messages, it chewed up my hard drive, and it emits this high, piercing sound that makes my dog go insane. Now I just know an iPhone isn't supposed to behave this way but I suspect that your store is removing the X factor that makes it work well when the software download from Herod's site is added to the overall structure. I mean, you guys think you're so smart but I'm one ahead of you and this really stinks. I mean, back in '89 I practically invented the whole concept but it was stolen from me, so nothing gets past me ever again. This is so serious a breach of your store's customer care that I want the manager, not just a retail rep!"
   • Hi, I'm "Assertive". Oh I see you're Njeri - Hi Njeri! I don't think we've met yet - I think I was served by Cyril before. Anyway, I bought this iPhone last week and it's a lemon. It scrambles my messages, it chewed up my hard drive, and it emits this high, piercing sound that made my dog go insane. Now I just know an iPhone isn't supposed to behave this way and I was hoping you might be able to look into it getting fixed, or perhaps, even better, give me a new one? I'd really like a new one because then I wouldn't have to worry it might fail on me again. I've always bought my gadgets from this store and I have always really appreciated your customer service. So Njeri, do you think you might be able to help me out?"
   • In the first example, Arrogant starts off OK and then starts meandering, and ends up being aggressive. In the second example, Assertive keeps it light, considerate but still remains focused on the point, only he asks for buy-in from the retail assistant and doesn't disrespect her station. Note how he also named her at the start - Establishing rappaport with someone for who they are, not just their role, really matters. And that is one incredible key to warding off people finding you arrogant when you practice assertive communications – you treat the other person like they matter (because they do).
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   Remember that assertiveness techniques take time to learn and nobody gets it right all the time. Apologizing is a good response to a failure to communicate assertively though and there is always space to reopen that door to better communications.
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   Don't take negative comebacks to heart. When you are faced with one of life's more challenging personalities, the best thing to do is to not take it personally. Sometimes it is your self-assurance that is a cause of irritation for less secure people and their response is to try and weevil their way in through criticism. This is never a reason to fall back into old patterns of unhealthy communication styles. Simply reassert whatever your point is and choose to leave it there. It is something they can work on with the full enlightenment on where you stand.
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   Seek the middle way. Sometimes if you're placed in a position of having to choose between differing viewpoints in a group, there might be accusations of arrogance against one division by the other. Always consider the possibility of being able to acknowledge both sides of the argument and finding the middle way to draw the concerns together. You don't necessarily have to solve the situation but you can be a powerful facilitator to the group finding an answer to its division through your assertive communications. In such situations, inform everyone that the situation is not one for blame, not one for recriminations, and not one for finding fault. Instead, help people to see that there is a chance for compromise by showing them where each has made assumptions about the other or the facts of the situation, while still upholding your own belief or opinion. And suggest that they have another look at things to reach a compromise.