Thursday, May 8, 2014

Signs that your marriage or relationship is about to end.


I haven't written a post for a while but today I decide to let the world get to know my crazy world.

So as you all know how are the story goes, When you see an opposite sex and your body tingles, that's love. i have been there and for the past couple of months its been perfect but due to the situation that am an alcoholic and she knew, she acted that it was okay, we could grow through it, which led my heart to be really happy thinking that everything was right.
See from the start we would actually do everything together and she would look for me each and every time she found time, text me more often and tell me how her day has been and I would thump my heart and say i had the perfect lady for me.
Fast forward to present ,all that changed and it has left me wondering and asking myself if the relationship will stand the test of time because things have changed. no text unless I start. No idea how her day has been unless I ask. When together she texts a lot but my phone doesn't ring with a text message tone. So all this made me to reflect back maybe at one point when I was drunk and came home at night and complained about everything would have triggered this or maybe she has someone else.I decided to note down her behavior and I think my relationship is on the rocks. Some of the reasons according to me are as below and I have numbered them for you to judge too:-

1. My mate now displays a lack of interest in you or your daily activities. She no longer asks my about my day, or longer shares the events of  her day with me.
2. She suddenly becomes very critical of the way I look, or dress, the things I say or do. Little things that didn’t matter before suddenly become a big deal.
3. We find yourselves frequently arguing or fighting over trivial matters or insignificant things.
4. My significant other becomes more involved in activities that don’t include you, and less time participating in activities that the two of us once enjoyed together.
5. She stops being romantic. There’s a marked decrease in hand holding, hugging, cuddling or displays of affection. My advances are rebuffed.
6. My significant other begins treating me differently. She becomes rude disrespectful, or inconsiderate of my  feelings.
7. She starts complaining or making disparaging remarks about me to her friends  including total strangers.
8. My mate begins to take me for granted. She stops giving me compliments or saying nice things to or about me.
9. It becomes increasingly difficult to have a casual conversation with each other. The two of us seem to have run out of things to talk about.
10. She now takes longer to return my phone calls, or doesn’t bother to return them at all.
11. My mate begins to talk about needing space. (Okay this came out of nowhere, I just added it coz my brain thinks otherwise)
12. My mate stops attending social events with me. More and more, I find myself going places alone.(Maybe because I love to drink and party heavily and she the social type but nevertheless it has changed)
13. She begins to flirt openly with the opposite sex in my presence, or starts dropping hints that the two of you should start seeing others .
14. It becomes evident that am are no longer a priority in her life. Other people or activities take precedence over me. Now am last on the list.
15. My mate now becomes annoyed by things I say or do that she once considered amusing or endearing.
16. My significant other begins to develop a life separate from mine. She develops new interests or hobbies that she doesn't share with me, makes new friends that she doesn't introduce to me .{ okay she has introduced me to some but other are just introduced when met}.
17. She becomes evasive or secretive about her activities, and becomes defensive, or overreacts to innocent questions or comments about this from me. In fact she only texts one guy even in the middle of the night .
Maybe am being just jealous but somehow its unhealthy when these signs show up and I would advice anyway with similar situation to handle it as below:- 

If you suddenly spot several of the subtle signs on this list, don’t take the situation lightly.
Your relationship is in grave trouble, and you have every reason to be very concerned.
These signs are usually an indication of infidelity, but that’s not always the case.
Whatever the reason for these changes, regardless of whether they occurred suddenly or gradually, over an extended period of time, you need to take immediate action.
But before you do anything, you need to take some time to determine exactly what the problem is.
Once you’ve fully assessed the situation, you can then make an intelligent decision about what’s in your best interests to do, before it’s too late.
And with that all said am at the final stage as i have mntioned above.
Catch my next post to know how this actually went.
And that's my corner of speech as of today.