God's Gift

I don’t know what it is lately, but all of a sudden I’ve been getting friend requests from countless stunningly beautiful women! Perhaps they dig my dark skin, or they’ve heard about my flat feet…maybe huge noses are now thought to be attractive? I’m not really sure what I have been doing differently, but whatever it is – it is working!



Some like the very lovely Krista are just looking to have fun, which is absolutely fine with me…I mean who doesn’t like fun? She hasn’t really put forward any ideas, but I thought we could go to see Black Panther on 16th February when it is half price – would be nice right?

Or perhaps she is more of a home-bird…so we could stay in and play a board game? Charades? have Drinks? Whatever. I suppose it doesn’t matter, as long as there are good people, good company and good laughs.

But not all have been as cool as Krista: some seem slightly deranged in fact…as if they have had a few significant heavy knocks to the head and have been taught butchered English by highly sexualised versions of Yoda and Jar Jar Binks:



I mean I’m flattered and everything – certainly don’t want to seem ungrateful but; “narrow vagina and fragrant”, and “white liquid of boyfriend”…not exactly the best way to make pals online. Most people lead with something about their lives (this does not include news of vagina freshness) like where they have travelled to, or where they would like to go…music preferences, what they like to eat and drink. (Again, leave the white liquid of boyfriend off that description too.)

On a not too serious, but a bit more serious note…I get quite a few of these a DAY – at first it was amusing but now it is slowly driving me insane. I hoped this blog post would help me vent.