In a movie, the crazy thing always works out. The grand gesture gets you the grand love. The love interest reads your grand gesture as ballsy, full of confidence, and knowing what you want. In real life, it can just make you look a little nuts and a little desperate. And maybe even a little irresponsible if that grand gesture cost you a pricey plane ticket or a game of hookey from work.
I would know, because I have done a few crazy things for love. And, well, I'm still single. What have I done?
Karaoke:
What better ways to show someone you want the whole world to know that you love them than by letting the whole bar know? It's a start, right? I signed up to sing at a karaoke bar in my local singing Minnie Riper ton’s “Loving you” jam where I was out with a group of friends, unsuspecting love interest included, with the intention of making it very clear that I was singing to just one person. I don't think all of the singing lessons or voice training in the world could have minimized my horror after putting on that performance and jumping off the stage to be greeted by these words from my love interest: "that was...um...sweet of you."
Gone the distance:
I was once dating someone who ended up moving about a 7-hour drive away. I decided to surprise her by taking off work for a week and driving up there without giving her any advance notice. She was, of course, thrilled to see me on her doorstep. And she was thrilled for the next two days (it was the weekend) to be with me. But, once the work week began, I was just some guy hanging out at her house waiting for her to come home, and stressing her out because she knew I was there waiting for her to come home. Not to mention, we had never lived together in the past. And suddenly, we were thrown into a pseudo living together situation, and found out that we needed our own space very quickly. In the end, the grand gesture didn't make us grow closer. It was the beginning of our relationship's demise.
Written a love letter:
There was a time when these were in fashion. But that was a very, very long time ago. I should have realized that before I tried to translate my feelings into a sonnet, with some far-fetched metaphors and some major hyperbole about just how much the person meant to me. The reader basically gulped in discomfort because, well, it's a little difficult to respond in regular English after you've just been written to in actual Old English.
Handwritten personal ads: Quaint, or...?
Really, is it necessary to spend good money on personal ads? I will tell you no. On 2007, I posted elaborately specific — and handwritten — personal ads in facebook.
I was young and living with my sister at the time — described myself with great precision in the ads: single, a “sorter/bagger” for a package delivery company, Rangers and Jets fan, and a person who loves movies, nightclubs, Migingo Island, Nairobi city and the color red.
I was equally precise about what I was seeking: a blonde, long-haired, "big-chested, curvy, leggy, and voluptuous (NOT FAT)" woman — or women — between the ages of 17 to 20 would be "willing to take turns paying on dates (NO GOLDDIGGERS!!!!!)."
Becoming Her Chauffeur
Men like to be seen as useful, and one way we curry favor with the one we like is by offering her rides. It starts small, like going to pick her up when she’s having dinner at our place — we’ll cross downtown just to get her. This is soon followed by trips to Naivasha, because she needs 200 tea lights. Finally, when she has to leave town to visit her parents, we come up with a reason why we’re headed in the same direction, just so we can spend a few hours in a car with her.
Crashing Her Time with the girls
Men think that the way to a woman’s heart is through feigning an interest in her hobbies. She says she loves going to hang with her girls and we say we’ve always wanted to try joining you. The next thing we know, we’re in short shorts trying to contort our body into positions that God never intended for us to achieve.
Got into a fight
it all goes back to the chest-thumping. When we’re trying to catch the attention of a girl, we can never come off as a wimp. Keep in mind: That doesn’t mean we pick a fight with the first guy we see. It means that if there’s a group of rowdy teenagers sitting in front of us at the movies, it’s up to the man to smack one in the back of the head and tell them to shut their mouths. Of course, this means we’ll likely get jumped in the parking lot and beaten with bicycle chains, but we crossed that bridge when we get there.
Relocated My Entire Life
nothing is worse than when we meet a girl we like — a girl we could have something with — only to find out she’s leaving town in four weeks. Some men cut their losses right there, while the brave ones make travel plans. We forsake our careers to pick up and follow that woman. Why? Because love is the greatest pension plan of all. And that’s how I ended up in Kenya from Houston Texas
Hanging Out with Her Ex
As much as I hate it every man has dated a girl that has somehow managed to stay friends with her ex. At first she calls him her friend: "I was talking to my friend, Dan, and blah, blah, blah." But something about her tone of voice tells us that farmer Dan once tilled the field we're now working to sow, Soon enough, we'll meet Dan, and every man in this situation has a decision to make: Do we blow him off or act like we're happy to see his smug face? Smart men treat Dan like a buddy. They pretend they're not at all threatened or jealous over her shared past with Dan because you know who used to be jealous about that kind of thing? Dan. As for me I won’t tell you what I did about this situation.
I a nutshell the things we do for love, right?! When you’re truly crazy about someone, you may not even believe the lengths you will go to catch or keep him or her in your life. Whether it’s standing outside of your GF/BF’s house with a boom box playing “In Your Eyes” Say Anything-style or confessing your years-long crush on the most popular girl at your high school graduation a la I Love You, Pearl, some declarations of love are sweet while some border the stalker line. With the following confessions from myself, I ranked each act of love starting with the not-so-intense Risky Romancing and ending with Deranged Devotion.
And truth is Getting into a relationship may seem tempting to you, but so was getting on the Titanic and look what happened there.
Becoming Her Chauffeur
Men like to be seen as useful, and one way we curry favor with the one we like is by offering her rides. It starts small, like going to pick her up when she’s having dinner at our place — we’ll cross downtown just to get her. This is soon followed by trips to Naivasha, because she needs 200 tea lights. Finally, when she has to leave town to visit her parents, we come up with a reason why we’re headed in the same direction, just so we can spend a few hours in a car with her.
Crashing Her Time with the girls
Men think that the way to a woman’s heart is through feigning an interest in her hobbies. She says she loves going to hang with her girls and we say we’ve always wanted to try joining you. The next thing we know, we’re in short shorts trying to contort our body into positions that God never intended for us to achieve.
Got into a fight
it all goes back to the chest-thumping. When we’re trying to catch the attention of a girl, we can never come off as a wimp. Keep in mind: That doesn’t mean we pick a fight with the first guy we see. It means that if there’s a group of rowdy teenagers sitting in front of us at the movies, it’s up to the man to smack one in the back of the head and tell them to shut their mouths. Of course, this means we’ll likely get jumped in the parking lot and beaten with bicycle chains, but we crossed that bridge when we get there.
Relocated My Entire Life
nothing is worse than when we meet a girl we like — a girl we could have something with — only to find out she’s leaving town in four weeks. Some men cut their losses right there, while the brave ones make travel plans. We forsake our careers to pick up and follow that woman. Why? Because love is the greatest pension plan of all. And that’s how I ended up in Kenya from Houston Texas
Hanging Out with Her Ex
As much as I hate it every man has dated a girl that has somehow managed to stay friends with her ex. At first she calls him her friend: "I was talking to my friend, Dan, and blah, blah, blah." But something about her tone of voice tells us that farmer Dan once tilled the field we're now working to sow, Soon enough, we'll meet Dan, and every man in this situation has a decision to make: Do we blow him off or act like we're happy to see his smug face? Smart men treat Dan like a buddy. They pretend they're not at all threatened or jealous over her shared past with Dan because you know who used to be jealous about that kind of thing? Dan. As for me I won’t tell you what I did about this situation.
I a nutshell the things we do for love, right?! When you’re truly crazy about someone, you may not even believe the lengths you will go to catch or keep him or her in your life. Whether it’s standing outside of your GF/BF’s house with a boom box playing “In Your Eyes” Say Anything-style or confessing your years-long crush on the most popular girl at your high school graduation a la I Love You, Pearl, some declarations of love are sweet while some border the stalker line. With the following confessions from myself, I ranked each act of love starting with the not-so-intense Risky Romancing and ending with Deranged Devotion.
And truth is Getting into a relationship may seem tempting to you, but so was getting on the Titanic and look what happened there.
I think I know what you did in the "being friends with the ex" situation..you actually sang?? You wouldn't confess the years-long crush, I think. You relocated,that's so sweet. :) Bottom line, the girl who gets you next,shouldn't break your heart. You love for real. This is absolutely crazy, but I love
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