It's My Birthday.... 3 Things I've Learned

Today is my birthday. So today I wanted to take a second to thank you for your wishes and share a few lessons I’ve learned in 29 years.

“What’s your greatest fear?” When I used to hear people ask me this godforsaken question. I guess I never really understood it. I would say, “Nothing” and they would look at me like I was crazy. I thought fear meant an animalistic, physical sensation like some predatory animal was chasing me. It turns out fear is a lot more subtle.

• I’m afraid of being ordinary. 
• I’m afraid of thinking small.
•  A lot of us are afraid of failure, or looking stupid, or of our friends thinking we got “too big for our britches.”

“What keeps you up at night?” Another phrase I didn’t understand. Dumb & Literal Cyrilt was like, “HUH? I SLEEP GREAT!” Well, now I get it. Maybe it doesn’t literally mean what prevents you from going to sleep…but what is on your mind ALL THE TIME? For me, it’s not revenue or launches or my alcohol. It’s people problems and people management (the special challenges that come with growing a company).

“Keep trying new things.” There’s another phrase I’ve been thinking about: “Keep trying new things.” On the surface, it sounds so normal — duh, of course I should keep trying new things. But think about our daily schedule: Most of us go to work, come home, maybe work out or watch TV, then do it all over again…for the rest of our lives. Maybe there’s a 1-week vacation thrown in there every year. And and an outing with my special friends.
And yet a tiny change can change everything.

IT'S STILL MY BIRTHDAY

Birthdays are kind of the worst. The expectations and the attention. I don't even like cake. Don't judge me. I have a soul, I promise. That soul just happens to be committed to Booze. A lot of people think that a birthday for me is this huge accomplishment and they make it weird, like a celebration, which ends up feeling more like a countdown than a count-up. I don't mean to be crabby about it; I guess it is a big deal. I don't know the statistics, but a lot of people who are in my boat never make it to twenty-nine. Did I mention I'm twenty-nine? It's funny, I feel like I deserve a much larger number.

My Recap Of twenty-nine:
• Fell Sick!
• I had to quit my job.
• Went to my first blind date.
• Was humiliated in the love department (no comment - see previous posts - ugh).
• Got high off of alcohol. (Do not take booze from strangers... no matter how cute they are.)
• And I FINALLY figured out my hair aka how to make it look less like a hat and more hair-shaped.

My birthday always makes me think of my mom. She's just this big mystery to me. Where she is, what she's like, what I'd be like if she hadn't left. But if twenty-eight taught me anything it's to not waste my time on "what ifs." So, in the spirit of staying positive, I'd like to say that the best bullet point on my recap list this year has to be:

• to find someone who will make my life and my year be peaceful and to enjoy it to the fullest :)
• To have my bussines be stable and be internationally known.

Can't wait to see what's to come for me this year. Stay tuned.

Aftermath

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY

At A Birthday Party

Goodbye 28, Hello 29! Is it me, or is time going faster? Is this a sign? Am I getting older? I am pretty sure the days and hours are just the same. However, I still feel as though there is NEVER ENOUGH TIME in a day or week to do what I need to do! (Rant Over) All joking aside 28 has been one of the best years of my life. I fell sick on 1st January for a month and had to quit my job at k.p.l.c.
Being that today is my birthday I have been playing a memory wheel of the past year in my head. It’s amazing how many things can change in 365 days. I have learned so much about myself this year, not to mention how important it is to truly keep God 1st in all you do.



What I Have Learned:
-I need to slow down and enjoy the moment.
-Be present and put the phone down (I am on any social media platform you can mention!)
-Plans and people change, get over it.
-People aren’t as though they seem, therefore dust it off and move forward.



My Goals For This Year:
-Go back to Meru.
-Get dates planned to go to Europe (Paris, Italy and London presumably).
-Start growing my family.
-Launching the second part of my vision. ( We will save this for another post)
-Surround myself with people that truly support and understand my madness.
-Not to skip the gym! ( Hell nah! What, I like my sleep!Infact I have never been a member)
Cheers to 29! The Best is yet to come! Now, I must go pack!
And Happy Birthday to Cyril Ochieng' and thats me.

Happy Birthday To Me

Today I celebrate ME! The birth of me! The person I have grown up to be! The person I will become! The Brother, Son, friend, Boyfriend, employee, acquaintance; I am! I celebrate me today!
No one else needs to celebrate with me, for I am enough to know who I am and what I can become. If you join in, you will be welcomed with open arms. If you don’t, you’ll still be given a smile back.
I know I said I didn’t want to celebrate my birthday this year. It was the thought of all the terrible birthdays I celebrated in the past. But after writing that post a few years ago, I consider why those birthdays were so terrible and I realize that I made them terrible. I did not celebrate me, instead I let tragedies, unfulfilled expectations and people decide how I was going to feel about the day.
Today I realize I will decide how today will go. I will be the reason for it to be fantastic or terrible. It will be my decision. No one else can decide this for me. So, today, I decide to celebrate me. I raise a glass of champagne in the air and toast to 30 years of ME. I am the best I can be at this very moment and that is a celebration in itself!
Happy Birthday to Me! I wish myself many more years of joy, love, laughter, health and prosperity. I wish myself strength and wisdom for days to come and I wish myself success with everything I do today and tomorrow!
Here’s a drink to ME!

How to (PRETEND TO) be a Normal Person

As you wade through the mysterious complexities of life, encountering such typical philosophical travails such as “why are we even here?”, “what is my calling?”, and “will I get caught if I burn my boss’ house down?” we can often feel alone…as if we are weird, and no one else is having these feelings on a daily basis. And the fact of the matter is – you are weird. You’re strange – odd…actually if I was to be completely honest you are probably Norman Bates level mental…but other people don’t have to know that!

Here are a few top tips that I have gleaned over my tenure as a full-time sociopath, which are sure to help you fit in and walk among the muggles undetected:


1. Nod, and smile when people are talking (even if you don’t understand what is going on):



You can throw in a few “ahhh I see”s for good measure – even though you don’t see anything at all. Just keep nodding, and smiling…nodding and smiling…people will tell other people you are a good listener, and ironically subsequently a great conversationalist!


2. Say “oh my God” instead of an actual well-thought out reply:



There’s really no need for any other reply these days, not unless you want to have the possibility of saying something weird like your actual sick thoughts. Instead stick to the script…just alter the pitch and pronunciation of the “oh my God” to suit whichever situation you may find yourself in; shock, sadness, humor, joy – whatever, whenever – you’re golden.


3. Reply with “it’s fine, don’t worry about it” when someone wrongs you terribly:



Let’s get this straight – it’s definitely not fine, and you will carry around this bitterness for the rest of your life like a heavy noose around your neck…but never mind – it’s…fine. I mean you may need counselling and perhaps some form of radical electric shock treatment years from now – but until then…you’re fine…no really, you’re fine.


4. Whistle a tune you are literally making up as you go along:



People who go around whistling are so annoying right? Just wandering about totally in their own world, without a care as to how irritating they are to the entire population of the earth…urgh! But funnily enough by masquerading as one of these rogues you can don the guise of a normal-o! (Please note you will appear normal but will have no friends and your entire family will abandon you.)


5. And finally…always shake stranger’s hands aggressively whilst repeating “I’M NORMAL, I’M NORMAL, I’M NORMAL!” in a shrill tone.



This is the clincher and takes a little bit of practice – fortunately you can train for this in the comfort of your own home (toddlers, cats, and your bed-bound grandmother make for great training apparatus) – remember to truly believe yourself when you shriek “I’M NORMAL!”; after all if you don’t believe yourself, then why would other people?
~~~
And here marks the end of my knowledge on this subject – but if you enact these five simple steps you will be surely well on your way to a life of normality (and repressed feelings)…

…but anyway I’m going to leave this coffee shop now, I think my whistling is starting to anger the rest of the clientele. Good luck, and keep smiling my friends – it’ll be our little secret!

What Childhood Movies Taught Me… (Nostalgia Fest)

I’ve been having myself a good old nostalgia fest today – thinking back to some of the best films I loved during my childhood (and still do!) I suppose I didn’t realise it then…but a lot of the films were teaching me valuable lessons on life – and in many ways I owe everything I am now, to them! Here are ten of the most poignant philosophies that I, and millions of others were taught ~


1. “That breakfast food is the best – and there is no such thing as too much…” - (Uncle Buck)

This lesson in particular, has held true all of my life. Although I am yet to use a snow shovel to make humongous pancakes – it is definitely on my bucket list.


2. “That they don’t sell human eyeballs in supermarkets…” - (Jumanji)

Just in case they were ever on your grocery list. Also we learned that not all board games, make you bored – as the name may suggest. Obviously having Robin Williams present helps massively.


3. “That everyone always appreciates hip actions, winking, and pointing…” - (Toy Story)

Having killer boots also helps. There’s just something about the sleazy wink that sends people wild with lust! In my experience, so wild they evacuate the building immediately.


4. “That you should go to great lengths to keep your special areas clean.” - (The Lion King)

Cleanliness is next to godliness. Enlist a friend, or trusted person for those hard to reach places.


5. “That electrocuting dead people doesn’t bring them back – but crying does…”  - (Pokémon: The First Movie)

This is obviously one of those practice makes perfect things, because so far it’s not working for me…I’ll stick at it though. I’m sure the magic Pokémon tears will come soon…


6. “That you should be distrustful of every single old lady…” - (The Witches)

Especially ones with demonic purple eyes, huge claws – and a tendency to try and murder every single child they come across. The more lovely, and doting they appear…the more likely they are to have a penchant for incineration. Be careful, kids.


7. “That if your friends are unhappy, hit them with things until they’re not…” - (Drop Dead Fred)

I haven’t had a 100% success rate with this one. Closer to 0% actually – but I’m not one to give up…she was happy-ish at the end of the film, so perhaps it takes a while to take effect.


8. “That it’s okay to set people on fire…” - (Home Alone)

If you do it with a little cheeky smile that is. Don’t worry about the hideous life-long scars, and the medical bills. That’s not your problem…just keep thinking of new ways to torture people. They deserve it. Probably…


9. “That the world is your gym – you just have to get creative…” - (Matilda)

Also, another side point…it’s never to late to pick up some of your own hobbies. Perhaps consider having another person with you, the company certainly makes it more fun!


10. “That sometimes people won’t agree with your fashion choices… - (Space Jam)

But despite all that Bill Murray will always be there to save the day. Oh, and that Michael Jordan’s Secret Stuff is good for you; so drink up – however this is not to be confused with Michael Jackson’s secret, Jesus Juice.

Bustin’ a Nut

Forgive me for venting, but don’t you think nuts get unfairly branded negatively just about everywhere you turn? I’m not sure who decided on the marketing decision to use nuts as a frame of reference for just about everything that isn’t wonderful in the world…but whoever it was has totally ruined the good nut name for generations since, and I for one think it’s not right.

This is how much it upsets me (approximately).

Everywhere a nut dares to venture in the world it has to face horrendous stereotypes…typecast automatically before anyone can even get to know it. That’s largely because the n word has been stretched and contorted out of all reality, and transformed into something that it doesn’t resemble at all…here are just a few unfortunate but all too real examples:

“That guy licking his dog’s leash looks like a nutter – let’s cross the road.” – when detailing a possibly mentally ill man, and his infatuation with an inanimate object.

“He thought he had came back from the dead to spread Noah’s message. He was completely off his nut.” – when gossiping about a friend’s recent revelatory adventure whilst in the throes of an opiate high.

“Urgh, this disgusting salad has a nutty taste…let’s go get a burger instead.” – when blaming nuts for the overall dissatisfaction you have with your grossly unfulfilling healthy choice.

Aragon is absolutely sick of it.

But you see it shouldn’t be this way, and we can be the change. After all nuts can be your friend, if you would only look past all of the false tall tales and into your heart. They can be great sources of protein, and from my personal experience are great listeners. They’re also rich in antioxidants, and have a number of other uses; such as something to throw off people who get too close to your picnic, a last alternative to have with beer if the world runs out of salty/cheesy snacks, and a whole host of chat up lines – such as “you remind me of a walnut, because you have a brain and I want to eat it.”

With all these plus points it’s an absolute insult that they remain slandered at every opportunity…so what are you waiting for? Get out there and reclaim nuts for all of their positive traits! Don’t let a few bad apples ruin it for the rest of them…

For the record she loves nuts.

…and if you really have to hate on a certain group, make it apples. They don’t keep the doctor away at all – just ask Snow White.

How to (Pretend) to be a Human.

I just read through, well attempted to read through – an entire list of things that make up what it means to be the ‘Modern Man’  according to Brian Lombardi of New York Times.

Well it should go without saying that it made me violently sick…after all, lists of that kind can only ever be restrictive and judgmental…sort of like; “this is the way you should do things and if you do anything else then you are a massive knob head who no one could possibly ever love.” That’s all I hear anyway – there’s just something off about it, something not quite right. I don’t get why people believe there is a fixed way to behave; what a drearily dull place it would be if we were all just dragging ourselves around humming the same tune and exchanging pleasantries until one day we are in the ground.

Which is why I am creating my own set of principles in which we can all live by as semi-functioning humans…I know, I know – there’s a glaring hypocrisy in all of this, but think of it like religion: mine is completely 100% correct, and all others are a steaming pile of shit. Hmm…did I just compare myself to Jesus? Well, perhaps. That’s for you to decide, although I don’t have a beard which may be a drawback…every good messiah needs a beard. Dammit. Fell at the first hurdle…urgh – but still yes, listen to what I have to say (please).

ANYWAY. So, every good human needs to keep a few things in mind as they go about their business otherwise he/she will likely be burned at the stake or cast out into the wilderness and banished from the office kingdom. Thankfully I have the scoop on what these criteria are, so you have no reason to worry. The chances of the aforementioned happening to you are now a lot slimmer*…you’re welcome.


1.) Every human needs to be able to pretend to be a “Good Loser” – (whatever that is…)



Remember that life is about loss – we lose our child-like fascination, we lose our hope, we lose our hair, and then we lose our marbles…so you sure as hell better get used to losing. Consequently mastering sentences such as “Oh that’s great.”, “I’m so happy for you.”, or “You are absolutely amazing!” when you lose, or someone else achieves something, is vital for your survival…bonus points are awarded if you do it without a sarcastic tone or aggressive bestial snarl…advanced humans will also master the art of refraining from puncturing the winner’s tires, or throwing a brick through their window (although it is understood this is rather difficult to avoid at times).


2.) Every human needs to pretend to only have community-approved obsessions:



For some unknown reason some obsessions are deemed okay, and others are thought of as psychopathic…and often verge on the criminal side of things. For example if you announce you are “obsessed” with Game of Thrones, or with collecting fridge magnets – you may be thought of as pretty typical, or at worst quirky. However if you were to cheerfully let people know that you like catching, skinning and disemboweling vermin around your city, and occasionally attempt botched Frankenstien-esque experiments on them…you are suddenly branded as a “weirdo”. It’s a strange world, and one I don’t particularly understand – but sadly that’s reality: some obsessions are okay, and some aren’t. You can check if your obsession is regarded as peculiar by practicing on strangers in the street…just walk up and let them know – if they run away as soon as you start talking, then it’s probably best to keep that one to yourself.


3.) Every human should pretend the internet is a bad thing:



This is one that baffles researchers everywhere but again appears to be a trend that cannot be shaken…despite the clear evidence that the internet is absolutely fantastic, most humans enjoy divulging the conclusion that they hate Facebook, or that they are sick of Twitter, or that Wikipedia is awful…usually this is told across some form of social media which only creates even more confusion. So even though you likely spend a tremendous deal of time watching great YouTube videos, or you learn something new everyday thanks to Google, or you never have to leave the house to buy stuff because of a whole host of online stores…it is best that you claim everything to the contrary. The most typical lines are; “I hate Instagram – why do I want to see people’s food? I don’t care if they starve or not.”, “I absolutely hate getting music for free (that's a lie), why can’t we just pay for the album which only has one good song on, like the good old days?!”(that's a lie because we got internet) and my personal favourite – “if it wasn’t for the internet, I would have written 400 best selling novels by now!” 

4.) Every human should pretend they never ever see difference, because no one is different:



Yes we look different, yes we live in different places, yes we have been brought up in different cultures, yes we speak different languages, and yes we are blatantly different…but listen to me clearly; we are not different. Say it with me…“WE ARE NOT DIFFERENT.” Well done, great job – now say it with a more confident tone, you don’t sound like you believe it.

And you must, it is paramount to every human remaining in good favor. To suggest otherwise is to face the firing squad. Even if you embrace difference as a clear positive thing, in which we can all come together as a global community and learn from one another – you are still considered to be an enormous prick who doesn’t deserve friends. You are boxing people in, and it’s rude to put people in boxes (it’s cramped and there is poor lighting).


5.) Every human should pretend their current job was always their dream job:



Do you remember when you were a lot younger and you dreamed of the adult days which would be whiled away without rules, and limitations…where every day would be filled with aspirations waiting to be met, and ambitions waiting to be embraced…where you would spend the morning eating your weight in bacon, but still looking amazing, and then spend the afternoon rapping your latest hot single to thousands of adoring fans…possibly in the evening you may fit in a stand up show if you can be bothered to drag yourself away from your hot tub…yeah? Sounds great, right!?

WELL NO IT DOES NOT – THAT WAS A TRICK QUESTION, IT SOUNDS DREADFUL.

What you actually find as you grow from a smaller more positive human to a larger and more miserable version of a human, is that all of that was an illusion and you didn’t ever want it in the first place; and that coincidentally what you really wanted was to take calls from angry old ladies, get screamed at by a moron boss, and spend every morning weeping. So please at least pretend to tow the line…keep it on the low if you are doing anything that brings colour to your life, and certainly don’t openly wish for something more…apart from winning the lottery, people are allowed to do that apparently…



So there you have it, you are looking more like a regular human already! I can sense the dissatisfaction in your attitude, the redness in your eyes, and the look of desperation in your furrowed brow! Great job! Go forth and repress yourself!

6 Things School Didn’t Teach

It will undoubtedly surprise you to hear that there are numerous things I don’t know…in fact, I would go to say that I don’t know many things at all. So yeah, I don’t know most things. That much is true, at least I know that.

When looking for someone or something to blame (rather than just accepting I am a brain-dead oaf, or lazy slacker), I have landed on school as my main source of ignorance to date…
So with that in mind, here are six classes and six lessons that I wish school had taught me…


1. Social Science: Making excuses for being late:



Oh yeah, great idea! Teach me all about how alcohol, drugs and sex will turn me into a hollow husk of a human devoid of any and all trace of hope – but neglect to teach me how to make even the most basic of excuses! Clearly this has a profound impact on every single day of your adult life…and is something which should be taught in schools from a young age.

Less is more, remember that. So claiming you were late to your best friend’s wedding because you are actually an elf who had to assist in a battle against the hordes of evil who threatened to enslave all of Middle Earth…his new wife included – is probably a little too much. You should go for nothing too ridiculous, but also something they can’t argue against for fear of looking like a horrible person; so maybe you helped a blind person across the road, or you helped a crying child find his lost mother, or you have diahorrea (no one ever contests that).

You could always try the truth I suppose: “I am late because I really don’t want to be here, and was honestly hoping to cancel but couldn’t come up with a good enough reason. Also I hate your face, it grosses me out.” Although it should go without saying that use of this method should be attempted sparingly, and with extreme caution.


2. Languages: How to talk to people without looking weird:



It’s taken for granted that we will just magically pick up these skills as we go along, thatching together what we think is a presentable personality and manner, but really having no clue at all. Like how much grunting and hair smelling is acceptable around strangers? No one ever told me!

I, like everyone else – just do my best with severely limited proficiency…there’s a lot of smiling and nodding…a lot of “haha, yeah”s, and even more deafening silence – that is until I can’t take the charade any longer and decide to let loose. Aka: be myself…and it is in that moment that I am considered weird – ah well.

Oh, and there would also have to be a module on oversharing, and how it is something that is best avoided…I mean, just because it is happening to you doesn’t mean you need to tell the whole universe about it…we get it you are at the Langata Nature walk, we get it you really don’t like booze, we get it you are an attention seeking drama-queen intent on boring the entire global population to death – jheeez.


3. Geography: How to locate and deal with a knobhead:



I like maps, erosion, and sediment charts as much as everyone else! But to be honest there are more pressing and more problematic problems we must contend with! And they are more often not fuelled by knobheads…or assholes, dickheads, douchebags, mean poo-poo heads – whatever you want to call them! So if there were some way in which we could locate such people then we would all save a lot of time and heartache in the process…

It sounds a little too Nazi for most people, but perhaps some kind of badge or brand could be applied? Then it would make it easier to locate those who are up to no good…so we’d know not to hire that guy to fix your dear old grandmother’s sink who will inevitably try to steal money from her purse (he has the knobhead brand on his forehead after all) – and we’d take on the guy without it instead. We wouldn’t get in the relationship with the serial cheater, or mistakenly go on a date with a violent racist…we would actually see a lot less of the annoyance on social media too…

With that said, any school who was to teach this…yeah, shut that thing down immediately. I don’t want to be responsible for Hitler mark II.


4. Physical Education: Movie style fight scenes:



It is everyone’s dream to enter into a Fist of Fury type of altercation…where you go all Matrix on the bad guys and pull off an amazing Mortal Kombat type of finisher that has everyone in awe…

But the sad reality is that normal people don’t get much practice beating people to death in unusual and fascinating ways…largely because they are law-abiding citizens who are just trying to get to work, pay into a pension, or get to Java before it is too busy. So it’s the criminals who get all the practice, hence why they are so damn good at it!

But the world is quite a horrendous place at the best of times, and many people are rightly scared…however if there was even the most basic self defense class taught in schools people would stand a better chance defeating those which disgrace humanity; muggers, rapists, and people asking if you want to do a survey.


5. English: When and where swearing is applicable:



I find it rather odd that schools come down so heavy on swearing as far as I can remember…but are so dogmatic when it comes to doing monotonous and drab lessons that demand the use of such language – it’s almost like a test in itself; which one will say “fuck this shit!” first? Hmmm…double maths and then a chemistry lesson, yeah let’s really mess with him!

Personally I think language is just a collection of words. And words can have many different meanings, and it is really how you use it rather than what exactly you are saying – just go to any English football game and watch tearful men with shaven heads screaming “you beautiful cunt!” at a player who has just netted a hat-trick for their team…are they trying to ridicule and humiliate him? I don’t think so.

So I guess what I’m saying is that swearing is okay most of the time! It adds spice and humour – enthusiasm and passion; and I didn’t really need school to fucking teach me that. (Perhaps refrain a little around your mother, kids, and old ladies – don’t be the aforementioned knobhead).


6. Mathematics: Removing yourself from awkward equations:



My struggle with mathematics is well documented – and continues to be a great source of difficulty. Well actually no, it would be if everything wasn’t automated, and done through electronics these days…

“Cyril you won’t always have a calculator with you, you know?!” Well, how wrong you were Mrs. Cathy! Even if I am a little bit sorry that I didn’t pay more attention…

Anyway, the lack of ability in coping with awkward situations is much more detrimental to our mental health and quality of life than algebra and long division ever will be. That guy at the bus stop asking which type of cheese is best to put in your bath…the stranger massaging your back out of the blue on the street…or when a kid asks you where babies come from – all of these and more are a constant struggle. And one which I still feel ill-equipped to deal with at all…if only there had been a lesson to steer me in the right direction…

The Reason I Meditate

“The meditation cushion is a good place to turn when talk therapy and antidepressants aren’t enough.” – Unknown

There exist countless varieties of meditation.  Depending on what one seeks, there is probably a meditation for it.  Common goals include stress reduction, cardiac health, subjective well-being (happiness), ecstatic states of consciousness, and spiritual communion/union.  Although these types of meditation are very diverse, one might arbitrarily divide the types of meditation into the concentration types and the open-awareness types.  The concentration types involve focusing on an object, such as the breath, a mantra, or visualization.  The open-awareness types are more of a surrender and opening up to what the universe has to offer.
I have a variety of meditations that I draw from depending on the particular needs I have at the time.  For example, if I am feeling disconnected from my heart, I may choose a lovingkindness or metta meditation.  If my mind is incredibly restless, I may choose a guided meditation from the Insight Timer app.

However, my go-to meditation is a hybrid of concentration and open.  To bring my mind into focus, I concentrate on my out breaths while counting to ten.  Any extraneous thoughts I label as “thinking” or “fear.”  Once my mind has settled down (if it does at all), I change to simply being mindful of whatever experience comes up, noticing any judgment, grasping, or aversion.
Mere intention to be mindful hasn’t been very useful for me.  In order to cultivate ongoing presence, I require a formal, structured, carved-in-stone-calendared practice.  Without this, other priorities tend to invade my sacred space.  For me, early morning time is the easiest to maintain as long as I can keep some discipline about when I go to bed.
Why do I go to such lengths for meditation?  I believe that the practice benefits me in a variety of ways.

1. Creates an Automatic Internal Program

You know that song that gets stuck in your head?  It got there because it was repeated and you paid attention to it.  Now it just comes up spontaneously, wanted or not.  A formal practice sets up a similar tune in my head that plays on and off all day in the background.  The lyrics are something like “What is my experience now?”  This little program is my best friend, ideally getting triggered by a variety of experiences and keeping me from getting too involved with mental fantasies.

2. Keeps Me From Rehearsing Fantasies

Whenever the mind is not aware of a present experience, it is either rehearsing a memory or rehearsing a fantasy.  Rarely are either of these healthy, but they sure can be seductive.  I just love to think about past hurts, future fears, or future ambitions.  All that just programs me to do even more of it in the future and reduces my current productivity and enjoyment.

3. Helps Me Make Memories

If I spend most of my day worrying/reminiscing about the past or catastrophizing/dreaming about the future, then I am NOT paying attention to my present.  Therefore, there is nothing to remember about the current day.  Days will go by, and I will have few memories to show for it.  Compare that to a day full of mindfulness, where I  hear what my friends say, and feel the ups and downs of life.  That is the stuff memories and life is made are made of (not that I want to waste all my time reminiscing).

4. Makes Me a Kinder Person

Meditation helps me stay centered, aware of my love and hate as they arise.  I am incredibly more compassionate and less angry when mindful.  The sooner I can catch an emotion, the less likely I will get involved with a story about it.  This makes me a much better husband and father.  As a mental health counselor, my therapy work is noticeably better when I am centered.

5. Lowers My Stress

Stress can be a pretty nasty thing for health.  It causes a cascade of chemical reactions in the body that result in cardiovascular plaque, abdominal fat, compromised immune system, chronic fatigue, and poor sleep.  I really try to avoid chronic stress by using meditation as a daily reset that can reduce my cortisol levels and keep me chill for as long as I remain mindful.  (Note: I try to maintain the mindful state at the end of meditation and carry it into my daily life.

6. Helps Me Make Better Decisions

If I am not centered, then decisions I make may be in the service of a dysfunctional mental state.  Accumulated decisions dictate what my life looks like.  The more decisions I make when I am mindful, the better my life situation will inevitably be.

7. Keeps Me in Good Company

I find that the more centered I am, the more I attract centered people in my life.  This happens both directly through meditative/spiritual circles and indirectly.
I suspect that my main excuse for skipping meditation is universal – there just isn’t enough time.  I have to call baloney on my excuse because I always get out twice what I put in it.  That reminds me of some advice I have heard about meditation: You should meditate at least one hour every single day, except when you are really busy.  On those days, you should meditate for two hours.

Reasons For Forgiveness

From My Previous post when I said you should forgive, I did not mean you should forget, because what forgiving really means is doing something good for you. So all in all, forgiving is a selfish act, because you do it to move on in life, to drop the baggage and move forward, to forget the past and the hatred that it gave you. But I not at all mean to say you should forget the lesson you got from that chapter of your life, remember it, and learn from it, but forget once and for all with all your heart so you can free yourself from the burden of remembering, or hating.

Forgiving anyone, including, actually especially yourself, is the biggest favour you can do to yourself, and here is why:
1. Because you need to be free of grudges if you want to live a happy life.





2. You do not deserve to have a thing stuck in your subconscious forever.





3. And you certainly do not deserve to have a foe who was once a friend.





4. Because you know forgiving yourself is the most important thing, even more important than forgiving others.





5. And if you are going to do it, doing it with all your heart would be a great idea.






6. Because saying ‘I forgive’ and feeling it from inside are two very different things.





7. Because forgiving and forgetting are also two very different things and remember, I’m not suggesting to forget.





8. Forgiving makes you the bigger person, and trust me, being the bigger person is a lot better than sulking.





9. Forgive them, because one fine day, they will forgive you.





10. And even if they don’t, remember, in the end it doesn’t matter, you’re not going to be anyone’s friend or foe when you leave the world.





11. The moment you forgive someone, especially yourself, you will start to heal, and you’ll know it.






12. If you’re planning to detach from that one person, try forgiving them and I promise you the detachment will become easier.




13. You’re stuck at that one moment in the past by holding on to that one thing, once you forgive it, it gives you the freedom to move on in life.





14. Because it is not for the one you forgive, you do it for yourself, and nothing else.





15. Forgiveness frees you of the feelings of revenge, anger, and disgust that your weak little heart doesn’t deserve.





16. Because you might be missing out on a great person just because you haven’t forgiven them.





17. Because forgiveness has the ability to change your life, your personality, and everything else.





18. And because God forgives you, you should forget others as well.








So just breathe, forgive everybody, including you, leave it on God, forget the past, lose the load from your heart, feel the lightness, and smile.